Displaying Out Of Stock instead of Add To Cart button

I know I'm gonna get a bunch of "use the search" posts but seriously, I've tried!

I am using 1.4.9.5 and the things I want to do are:

- When a product is out of stock, I want it to say "Out Of Stock" instead of the Add To Cart-button.
- If a product has several options (S, M, L), I want the drop-down options to say something like "Out Of Stock" for the options that are out of stock and just normal for those that are still in stock.
- If I have a product with a quantity of say 2 and someone orders 3, I want it to return a message that "Only 2 left in stock" or similar.

When I search the forum for answers, I either find solutions for 1.5.X or I find several different answers, none of which are really described in detail (i.e. which file I whould change with path etc).

If anyone knows a thread with solutions, please post it, cause I really can't find a clear solution.